Does Money Buy Happiness?

It probably depends on who’s blog post you’re reading. Everyone has their take on this, but here’s mine.

Let me start by being real with you. I’ve been making well over 6 figures since I was 24 years old. And that’s not to brag, at all. I want to share that no matter how much money I’ve earned, it didn’t buy ME happiness.

There’s a lot of research done on money and happiness, and I’ll get to it, but first I want to share with you about why I don’t think money alone buys happiness. 

For starters, the millionaires that I know, are (mostly) genuinely unhappy. Not all, but most. And so I started asking these tremendously wealthy multimillionaires what would make them happy. Common denominator: family and connection. They would give up all of their money if it meant they could have family and connection.

Some of them lost a spouse and they desire that connection that is now gone. They have gorgeous homes, collectible cars, and $60,000 paintings on the walls that look like a 4 year-old finger painted. They had money to buy anything they desired. But they were not happy without connection. 

And I thought this was interesting because, I agreed. The time of my life where I lacked the most connection, I made the most money – and quite frankly, I could give a shit about the green paper bills. 

Let me tell you the story…

In 2017, I slipped a vertebra backwards while throwing a tennis ball for my dog. Fetch seemed harmless, but that day changed my life for good. My legs gave out from under me. I felt the most searing pain down my spine and no feeling in my legs. 

I had an MRI, and my doctor said these two words: degenerative retrolisthesis. And I responded with these three choice words: What the fuck? 

At the age of 27, I had a degenerative spine disease with not only a dislocated vertebra but a bulging disc above it, an annular tear in the disc below it, and spinal stenosis (narrowing of the spinal canal). Excruciating, agonizing, harrowing, violent pain was a complete understatement. 

I know you’re wondering where am I going with this, but hear me out. We all go through tribulations, but I’m sharing this because I want you to think hard about the answer to this question – Does money buy happiness?

Over the next 10 months I worked my job from the comfort of my floor. I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t walk, I couldn't surf anymore. Heck, I couldn’t even use the restroom by myself or get dressed. I was kidding myself thinking about surfing. 

Having my brother put me on the toilet and pick me back up, was fucking humbling. And I didn’t just lose my dignity – I lost all of my connections. I still had a lot of money though. 

I didn’t have friends who would come over to help me. No one invited me to anything anymore because they knew I couldn’t do anything. No one checked in on me. In fact, I realized maybe some people weren’t meant to be my friends if they can’t help me at my worst, so I even cut some “friends” out. I still had a lot of money though.

To make matters worse, about 6 months into this accident, I started to struggle with other areas of my health. I had trouble breathing, vertigo, I was chronically fatigued. Was this depression from not being able to walk? No. It was worse. I still had a lot of money though.

It took 8 months of testing to figure out that I had multiple diagnoses. I had encephalitis which is a fancy word for brain inflammation. I started slurring my speech, I basically sounded drunk 24/7 (which is why I don’t drink alcohol). I still had a lot of money though. 

I had multiple autoimmune diseases, neurotoxicity, an antibiotic resistant staph infection, and insomnia. I developed allergies I never had before, I grew a tumor on my leg, I lost 22 lbs, my muscles atrophied, I lost padding in my hands and feet so everything I touched or walked on hurt. It hurt to be touched. It hurt to be hugged. I still had a lot of money though. 

This was my life, every single day, hour, minute. So, I moved states to get the care I needed.

Moving states makes you lose even more connections. Now I left behind the only two people who were helping me – my mom and my brother. But I had to. I knew if I didn’t get help from a new team of doctors that I wasn’t going to survive. 

I made the leap, and I moved to Oregon. My new connections – doctors. 

I looked forward to doctor appointments because they were the only humans I was seeing and talking to. Yes – my mom flew up a lot to see me, but my doctors were the closest thing I had to consistent human connection.

I looked forward to talking to my doctors. They probably thought I was the happiest person ever for how much I was struggling, but really I was just happy to talk to someone. I still had a lot of money though. 

BUT IT DIDN’T MATTER.

It didn’t matter how much fucking money I had. I was so despondent that I considered assisted suicide which was legal in Oregon. I missed having friends. I missed being able to actually BE with my family. I was just a human trapped inside of a body of pure torture and misery. I’ve never been to prison, but I’d imagine prison feeling similar. 

I lived in a beautiful building in the heart of Lake Oswego, Oregon with floor to ceiling windows. And I would lay in bed, and just watch all of the people outside. They were laughing, holding hands, playing with friends, eating ice cream, and walking their dogs. I wanted connection so desperately. I would have done ANYTHING to walk around the block, say hi to a stranger, order a chai latte, walk my dog, grab tacos with a friend. 

The money didn’t matter. It didn’t make me happy. I’ll never forget the day I told someone that I would rather be broke, healthy and have connections than be financially well off. I still stand by that statement. 

Money ALONE doesn’t buy happiness.

Connections do. Relationships do. Income buys life satisfaction, but not happiness. 

Yes, it’s hard to be happy without a roof over your head, a bed to sleep on, and food to eat. But at what point does money not buy happiness anymore?

A study done by Angus Deaton and Daniel Kahneman, economists from Princeton University, found that the effects of income on an emotional well-being start to plateau at an income level above $75,000. That has since been debunked. So does money make you happy?

Money alone won’t make you happy, especially after reaching a comfortable level of income.

So what really makes people happy?

Three things: Connections, giving, making the world a better place.

I’ve talked enough about connections. From 2017-2020, I just wanted connections and to feel better so that I could have more connections. 

As years went by where I started to heal, I wanted to give. I wanted to help others. I didn’t know how, but I knew it would come to me someday. In fact, I promised myself that if I made it out alive from such a nightmare, that I would give back to others.

And when I made the decision to move back to California, I wanted to make the world a better place on a larger scale. Which is why I created Female in Finance. 

Female in Finance has given me connections, a place to give, and a platform to make the world a better place through financial literacy. Money didn’t do that. Money didn’t make me happy. Teaching financial literacy to over 100,000 people does. 

I’m sharing this to encourage you to focus on your connections, give where you can (not just in dollars), and find what you think could make the world a better place. Do something that is significantly more than what you’ve been doing so far. See how it feels. 

The bottom line

Chasing income alone is an ineffective way to find happiness. Money matters – it can give you increased comfort, it can reduce stress, it can give sense of control. But money alone did not buy me happiness.