When is Enough Money, Enough?
Have you ever wondered about incredibly wealthy people who have a shit-ton of money that they couldn’t possibly spend it all in their lifetime, yet they still want more?
I’ve met people who are financially independent multi-millionaires, but then they tell me they want more. And I will never forget the day when one of these multi-millionaires (who teaches about personal finance and financial independence) told me, “I want to make a million dollars per month!”
I gulped so loud I’m sure he could hear it from 6 feet away (because, Covid). I sat there thinking…. “Is he not already financially independent with more than enough money to enjoy everything he wants in life?” So I asked him this question. And he said, “Yes, I have everything I want, I can do anything I want.”
Then I asked, “So when is enough money, enough?” And I got crickets.
This dude had roughly $7.5 million to their name, meaning they could safely withdraw $300k per year (4% rule) and never run out of money, yet he was living his “dream life” and “had everything he wanted” for $72k per year. Let me repeat that. He could EASILY spend a whopping $300,000 per year and buy everything he ever wanted, but he was only spending $72,000 per year for everything he ever wanted, and he still wanted to make a million dollars per month.
Clearly, he did not have everything he wanted.
If you understand how much money you need to live off of in retirement (while accounting for inflation), to live a fully happy life and do everything you want and have everything you need, then what more do you really want?
Let me take a stab at it. There are four main themes where people seem to struggle with never having “enough.”
One: Happiness.
We have to first understand that it is possible to be financially secure, be extremely intelligent, have loving relationships, be mission-driven, be professionally successful, and still be miserable or despondent.
Bill Gates was once asked, “Are you happy?”
The dude is a billionaire making money faster than a HP laser jet pro could print money, how is he not living a life of fucking ecstasy?!
During his seventh Reddit Ask Me Anything, Gates explains that his billions don’t make him happy. He added that he understands there are studies that show that making more money can increase happiness, but only up to the point where you can stop worrying about covering necessary needs in life, emergencies that may come up, and any major life setbacks.
Gates mentioned that having strong relationships and time is what made him happy. And if you remember my blog post from about six weeks ago, I wrote about if money buys happiness. And my answer was similar to that of Bill Gates. Money ALONE does not buy happiness. Connection is what makes me happy.
Now, don’t worry I’m no fucking Bill Gates, but I find it interesting that the more I listen to extremely wealthy people, the more I come to find that they are either not happy at all, or they have it totally figured out when it comes to what makes them happy. And those who aren’t happy always wanted more money, and those who were truly happy, had no desire to have more money.
But I don’t think happiness is the only key you need to feeling like you have “enough.”
Two: A scarcity mindset
I had a massive fear of losing every penny to my name.
There was a time in my life where I did not feel I had the freedom to not stress about money. This unfortunately lasted decades. I had to track back times in my life where I lived in fear because money was scarce.
The first time: When my dad left when I was three.
The second time: When I saw neighbors bringing over food.
The third time: When I figured out that the weekly garage sales we had were to try and pay rent.
The fourth time: When my Mom filed bankruptcy.
The fifth time: When my Mom filed bankruptcy again.
The sixth time: When I became chronically ill, and I watched myself lose almost every penny to my name.
These all seem like good reasons to have a scarcity mindset, right? But, that wasn’t doing me any good. I wanted to be free from worry about money. It’s not easy to get out of that mindset.
In fact, I think it’s even more challenging nowadays, because there are added financial stressors. Financial stressors are the cost of growth in some areas of life that seem to be growing at a rate that people cannot keep up with. And that cost growth does not give people the freedom to not stress about money, sucks them right back into a scarcity mindset, which then leads them back into the vortex of feeling like they never have “enough.”
Let me give you some examples:
Healthcare: “The average cost of health insurance, adjusted for inflation, has increased ninefold since the 1960s".
College: “The cost of an undergraduate degree rose by 213%, adjusted for inflation, since the 1980s.”
Rent: “The cost of rent increase by 46% from the 1960s to 2000, adjusted for inflation.”
Housing: “The value of homes increased by 73%, adjusted for inflation, since the 1960s.”
Benefits costs are on the rise.
We all feel it, especially when it comes to health insurance premiums.
In fact, I really felt it when I left my job nearly 4 weeks ago and my health insurance plan became $813 per month. When I first worked for the Company 7 years ago, I was at $334 per month for the same exact plan.
Do you think the increase in benefit costs plays a part in employer’s willingness to increase salaries/wages? I would assume that’s part of it.
How have wages kept up?
Well, they haven’t. When looking at this chart, it’s no wonder people are feeling throat punched.
I won’t carry on. But it is much more challenging to achieve that freedom of not stressing about money now than it ever has been before. And I believe that feeling is what makes people feel that they don’t have “enough.” But, it could be something else.
Three: You’re a chronic goal setter.
Are you someone who is always moving the goalpost? That’s me. I become successful at one thing and I chase the next. And I think in some areas of life, this can be incredible for growth and for those who are always wanting to learn (something I encourage).
However, when it comes to money, there has to come a point where it’s not healthy to have this feeling of wanting more of what you don’t really need. At the end of the day, you can have billions of dollars but you’re still stuck with yourself. Maybe you’re rich af in a pink flamingo bikini on the Amalfi coast, but you still have to be you every day. This is where I find happiness to be the main reason as to why for some people, millions or billions is not ”enough” for them.
Four: You’re lonelier at the top.
It’s easier to have friendships with similarities, and even more so in relation to socioeconomic standing. The bigger the divide in wealth, could also be the divide between some friendships. There’s likely a certain sense of isolation and loneliness. Not always, but it’s possible.
This is what I imagine with my friend who’s net worth is $7.5M but always wants more. When I asked what he does during the day, he doesn’t seem to do much or be around many people. He mentioned he has a younger sibling who’s already married with children, but he isn’t and he compares himself to that sibling. His parents live in a different state. He finds himself laying on the couch upside down not doing much.
So what is he using to achieve that feeling of fulfillment, connection, and happiness? Money.
And the unfortunate truth is, I’m sure if he did make $1M per month, he would still feel the exact same way he’s feeling right now.
So how do you get off the treadmill of always wanting more?
You start with yourself. You focus on happiness and fulfillment. And interestingly enough, those two things don’t cost a lot of money.
If you have a combination of strong relationships, time, and the freedom to not stress about money, isn’t that enough? Think about it. If you had strong relationships within friendships, a marriage, your children, and professionally, and you had the time to wake up and do anything you wanted, and money was of no stress under any circumstance, would it be enough?
I’d hope so.
When I think about my multi-millionaire friend who told me they wanted to make a million dollars per month, I realized part of this equation is missing for them. My hypothesis: connection. But, I won’t make any real assumptions as it’s not my life.
I want to encourage you to find where in your life, are one of these variables lacking.
Because you have to draw the line somewhere. At what point is enjoying what you have right now more valuable than growing an unnecessarily large financial empire? When do the diminishing marginal returns of more money make you say “that’s enough!”
Only you can answer this.
Find the sweet spot where you’ve grown enough wealth to where you will enjoy life experiences that are consistent with your values.
I want you to be wealthy “enough” to have just the right amount of money to maximize your life, because you can have too much of a good thing.
So what’s too much? And when is enough money, enough?
If you’re someone who reads the last chapter of the book first, this is for you:
It’s enough when you exhibit true happiness and fulfillment in every present moment. And damn, that is the most wholesome thing I’ve said all year.
“He is rich enough that wants nothing.”
Cheers.
