Why You Shouldn’t Make Extreme Sacrifices on your Pursuit to FI
When someone first sees my Instagram or reads my blog, I’m sure the first thing they think is, all this bitch cares about is money and hustling to retire early. And although that’s 10% true, it’s 90% false, give or take a few %.
However, I would say there was legitimately a time in my life where that statement was 90% true and 10% false, and it nearly cost me my sense of self, my friendships, my connections, and my health. That’s not easy for me to admit.
In my early 20s I was both lucky and privileged to be a high income earner. I’m not discrediting my hard work at all, but I will say that a job like mine doesn’t fall in someone’s lap often, and it happened to fall into mine, so there was a little bit of luck/right place, right time kind of thing.
Another thing I’m grateful for when I first started that job was that I understood investing, I studied finance, and I knew how to manage my money very well, almost TOO well. I knew exactly where to put my money at all times. I was just as turned on by high risk investing as a 13-year old kid was turned on by Fortnite and Minecraft combined. You could say my brain was subconsciously running a program called: Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop.
Saving money became an obsession.
And my life became nothing but deprivation. I deprived myself of anything fun, because I was obsessed with chucking stacks of money into the stock market. In fact, I didn’t understand why no one else around me was doing the same.
While my investment accounts made me feel like a butt-naked Cardi B in piles of cash, I was listening to Lonely Girl by Pink upside down on my couch.
And that was all because I was making extreme sacrifices on my pursuit to financial independence.
It was something that had become so programmed within me, that this behavior became completely subconscious. I almost think discovering FIRE (financial independence, retire early) too early, was a bit of curse at times.
I fantasized about retiring as young as possible, and raising a family without needing a job. Looking back, it’s interesting that I had thoughts like this because I’ve always genuinely enjoyed working. I always have. I still do. It brings balance to my life.
But extreme frugality was overriding the program telling me to go have fun. The new program became "sacrifice as much as possible, you don’t need that, you could invest instead, it’s not on sale.” That program sucked.
Things have since changed..
If you could see me right now as I type this blog, I’m sitting at a coffee shop with a 20 oz iced chai latte, a breakfast sandwich on a pretzel bun, and a tiramisu because why the fuck not? Seven years ago, you would not find me doing this, which is sad. I would have called this simple joy a waste of money that I could invest instead.
The good news is, my life of extreme frugality didn’t last long. I got reality checked when I became chronically ill for three+ years. My accounts were draining by the hour, doctor appointment after doctor appointment.
And you know what? I didn’t care. I learned tough lessons being sick. And they are the lessons I’ll hold onto for the rest of my life. The misery of chronic illnesses led me to appreciate things like connection, eating out with friends, traveling, embracing my dreams, intentionality, and spending more of my money.
Ultimately, I had a new understanding of my expedition to financial independence.
As much as I hear YOLO come out of tweens’ mouths, it’s true. You only live once. I had to reflect on what really mattered to me in life. And I’m going to encourage you to do the same.
Rather than being an overachieving FIRE enthusiast, focus on what you want your ideal life to be like, and start living that way now.
Ask yourself, what would you do every day if retirement wasn’t an option? You would work AND travel AND enjoy spending your money AND buy the damn dress. So do those things NOW.
And I’m not saying to go ape shit with spending your money, give up on budgeting, and rage quit investing. I’m simply saying to enjoy the journey to financial independence and not just the destination.
Hear me out.
Have you heard of the hedonic treadmill theory?
It’s a theory positing that people will always return to their baseline level of happiness no matter their achievements or what happens to them (positive or negative). For the visual learners, he’s the graphic I came across a few years ago:
Hedonic Treadmill Theory
There was an interesting study done in 1978 with two groups of people. The Study was called “Lottery Winners and Accident Victims: Is Happiness Relative?” by P Brickman, D Coates, R Janoff-Bulman One group was lottery winners, and the other was a group people who had been in accidents and were paraplegic and quadriplegic. This study BLEW my mind.
The research showed that in the long run, neither group was happier than the other. Respectively, each group had initial reactions of happiness and sadness, but they still returned to their baseline level of happiness: neutrality.
Leandra, where are you going with this?
I want you to be happy on your journey to financial independence! Because in general, increasing your wealth, ESPECIALLY beyond the point of meeting your needs, does not make people as happy as they think it would. So enjoy your money right now.
Directional phenomenon: We feel happy when we’re progressing in life. So by spending your money to enjoy life now, and investing at the same time, you’re still working towards financial independence, you’re still progressing.
The bottom line: “Pleasure comes more from making progress towards goals than from achieving them.” - Johnathan Haidt
Progress influences happiness. Get off the hedonic treadmill and re-calibrate: Make progress towards your long-term financial goals without the extreme sacrifices.
