From Bullied to Bullish: How to Overcome Adversity and Come Out on Top
If I told you that a girl who bullied me in High School is now being tried for murdering her child, would you believe me? Probably not. But it’s true. She’s facing 15 years to life in prison. And let me tell you, this girl not only bullied me, but completely blighted my reputation.
The reason I’m sharing this is because I believe everyone faces dissimilar levels of adversity. And when most people think of adversity, they think of misfortune, hardship, tragedy, affliction, etc. When I think of adversity, I see it as a force that fuels greatness.
Let’s be honest, I didn’t always have this perspective on adversity. But, I’m going to share a story with you, that I hope will make you also see that adversity in your life can fuel greatness for you too.
Grab your fuzzy socks and kettle corn, it’s story time.
A few weeks ago I was helping my mom organize her garage. I found an entire cabinet full of school memories: pictures, homework assignments, report cards, notes, essays, you name it. It was really cool to see how I went from a report card that said “Leandra still can’t hold scissors in Art class” to getting perfect scores on math tests. My mom and I laughed at a lot of it. And I even found it hard to part with some of it because it was humbling to see my own growth.
And then I came across a folder of papers I wrote at the end of my sophomore, junior, and senior year of High School. They were called Reflection Papers. For some reason at my school, English teachers were required to make us write papers reflecting back on the year. Which, first of all, I thought was foolish. Why not write about what we’re looking forward to the following year?
I digress.
Sophomore year I wrote a reflection paper about how much I was struggling with bullying. I wrote that I wanted to quit the dance team but didn’t want to disappoint my mom who worked hard to afford me being on a traveling team. My teacher graded my reflection paper with a 99/100 in red ink. It felt like an empty final score. Did she even read it? Probably not.
Here’s where shit got real unpleasant. It was Junior year, and my friend had a Super Sweet 16 Party on a yacht. Yeah, the kind that was on MTV. What could go wrong?
Well, I had a friend named Nick who was just that. A friend. He had broken up with his girlfriend, Kelsey. Yes, that’s her real name because I have no reason to hide who she is considering her trial is all over the news here.
Anyways, Nick asked me to dance with him, and so we did! Nothing freaky. Strictly platonic. But Kelsey, didn’t think so. In fact, she called me a slut along with other choice words. She got her group of friends to join in and spread the rumor that I took her boyfriend from her and was the biggest slut in the entire school.
Not a single school day went by after that night where I wasn’t mortified. Everyone believed Kelsey. In fact, it was “so funny” to everyone at the school that there was an entire plan for a guy to ask me to prom only for him to stand me up.
And then my reflection paper for Junior year was due. I divulged everything that happened. I aggressively put pen to paper and wrote the details as to what happened that night and the rest of that year. I got a 99/100, but this time in green ink. Green felt like a silent thumbs up. No notes. No corrections. How did my teacher not pay attention that I was spewing my pain out on this paper and was asking for help?
Senior year rolled around and I went through the same pain. This time I didn’t go to prom. But I wrote the same reflection paper. Again, a 99/100. This last time, in black ink. Black felt cold.
The color of the ink changed but the message was the same— no one was listening.
We all go through adversity at some point.
This was my first time going through adversity that felt paralyzing. People in college told me I was cold. I knew I had to climb my way out of this by myself. I never shared any of this with anyone. In fact, I only shared what really happened to me in High School with my mom two weeks ago. It took me 16 years to share how I dealt with adversity.
And while sharing with her these stories from High School, I looked at where I am right now. In this moment. This single moment in space and time. My mom didn’t have to tell me she was proud of me. I was proud of myself. I went from bullied to bullish. And not just bullish when it comes to investing. Bullish on life.
I believe that anything I choose to do in this life, I will rise. I believe the same for you as long as you make that choice too.
Adversity puts you at the intersection of roadblock or springboard. Do what you want at that intersection. It’s your choice.
I had to make the conscious decision to climb out of the narrative: “I’m not good enough, I am a nobody, I am worthless, I am a horrible person.” It was a narrative I was told for so many years by my peers that I fell into that. Really fulfilling that self-fulfilling prophecy, wasn’t I?
Don’t let adversity lead you to a victim mentality.
I did that. And I can tell you, it doesn’t get you anywhere. Let adversity lead you to understanding the root of your character. Let adversity lead you to accomplish your goals of becoming financially independent. Let adversity create resilience on your debt freedom journey. Let adversity build confidence to talk with your partner about money. Let adversity fuel you for greatness.
Without adversity, I wouldn’t be as equipped as I am now to overcome challenges. I wouldn’t have tools to recover from traumatic experiences. I wouldn’t be able to pass a test on self-love. I wouldn’t be a confident blogger. I wouldn’t be teaching personal finance to over 100,000 people every single day. I wouldn’t be a bullish investor. I wouldn’t be bullish on life.
So I’ll leave you with this: "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it" - Henry Ford
